How to Tell if a Guy Actually Likes You or Is Just Trying to Sleep With You
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28 Signs the Guy You Like *Actually* Likes You Back
Yup, you can stop overanalyzing his texts now.
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Knowing whether or not someone likes you is 100 percent confusing 100 percent of the time. No matter how awesome you are (and yes, you are awesome), deciphering the signs and signals of a potential crush is next-level complicated. Every brush of the hand or 'Like' of an Insta sends you on a spiral of "is this a thing or am I reading into it?" And not to be completely gendered, but I think this is especially true when it comes to understanding men's thoughts and feelings. Men tend to suppress their emotions because of societal standards, which can make dating even harder to navigate.
Luckily, there are a few ways to figure out what your maybe relationship means. You can overanalyze his texts at brunch with your friends. You can get dating and relationship advice from your parents. Or you can turn to the pros to get the low-down on how you really know when someone's interested in you.
While clinical social worker Ashley Starwood says being upfront and "communicating your feelings can be a great way to model what you would like to see in a relationship with the other person," sometimes you might want to be a little more subtle. Does he seem nervous around you? Does he often stand near you? Does he try to get your attention mid-convo? All indications there could be something there. If you're trying to sort out a "he loves me, he loves me not" sitch, these 28 expert-advised signs should help you figure out whether you've found a friend or a future hubby.
1 of 28
He looks you in the eye
It might seem simple, but marriage and family therapist Payal Patel says eye contact is vital to non-verbal communication. "When someone looks you directly in the eye when you're talking to them, it shows that they are present and listening to you," she explains. "It also builds a form of intimacy between two people."
2 of 28
He cleans up
If he makes an effort to tidy up his space (or himself) for you, sex coach and educator Sara Tang says it's a sign he wants to "present his best self" to you. Clearing up his physical space and/or putting an effort into grooming himself (this could be dressing up, styling his hair, wearing cologne) are all signs this is more than just a casual fling.
3 of 28
He asks thoughtful questions
If he asks questions that skip past the usual small talk and help you engage on a deeper level, Tang says that shows he's not only a good listener but also actually curious about you. Instead of the typical "how was your day?" or "what do you do for a living?" he might ask what you're passionate about or where your dream vacation spot is.
4 of 28
He's vulnerable around you
Both Tang and Patel agree, if he's vulnerable around you, it means he feels comfortable in your bond. Pay attention if he's willing to talk about personal issues or openly shares his emotions (even the difficult ones) with you, as it's a sign he trusts you and your relationship.
5 of 28
He hangs out with your friends
When you date someone, you're also kind of dating their friends. Starwood says if he's willing to go to parties, dinners, and/or nights out with you and your pals, it's probably a sign he's more invested than a casual hookup.
6 of 28
He respects your boundaries
First of all, boundaries are v important in any relationship. But if you've been clear about not kissing on the first date or not having sex and he completely honors that, Patel says it means he cares for you and respects you. "Even by him asking 'can I kiss you?' shows he respects your boundary rather than just going for it," she explains.
7 of 28
He asks you for advice
A perk of dating someone is you kind of get a built-in source of advice. Starwood says if he asks you for help or opinion about things in his life outside of your relationship—like work, his family, or even what to wear to an event—he values you and your input, which means he views you as more than just a casual thing.
8 of 28
He mirrors your body language
Body language is, like, everything when it comes to dating. So if your guy imitates your gestures or speech patterns, then that's a subconscious sign that he's interested in you, says sexual health and wellness expert Tatyannah King. "He wants to gain mutual trust and create a connection."
9 of 28
He wants to see you during the day
When a man is interested, he'll make plans with you outside of the typical Friday night and booty call hours, confirms King. "He'll make plans to do afternoon activities like hiking, a picnic on the beach, or a coffee shop date because your company and personality appeals to him," she says,
10 of 28
He brings you to family gatherings and events
If he's ready to talk to his mother about you, that's a v good sign: "He's interested in integrating you into his family or social circle," says King.
11 of 28
He remembers small details or things you told him
Pay close attention to assess if someone is listening to you just to reply, or actively listening to you because they care. "The difference is hard to spot, but maybe he's remembering details you mentioned previously or asking you deeper questions about what you just shared," says relationship and intimacy coach Azaria Menezes.
12 of 28
He encourages you to do that one thing you've been wanting to try
Maybe you want to train for a marathon. Maybe you want to go back to school. Whatever it is, he wants you to thrive. "When someone motivates you and supports you to do the things that best support your growth and happiness, you know they have your best interest at heart," says Menezes.
13 of 28
He's down to plan vacations with you
A sure sign he sees you in the future (therefore meaning he really likes you)? When you bring up some place you've always wanted to go or some thing you've always wanted to try, he responds with something like, "Yeah, we should definitely do that!" It's subtle, but once you notice it, you notice it.
14 of 28
He'll happily watch 'The Bachelor' with you
And yeah, that includes the Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, and whatever else the geniuses behind Bach Nation come up with. He may not love it, but it's something you love (also hi, wine for two hours), so he's happy to join you. It's what Wells Adams and Sarah Hyland do every week, and they're literally engaged now. What better sign do you need?
15 of 28
He helps you move
This is honestly more a sign that this dude wants to marry you, because helping someone move is the worst thing you can do, and it takes some truly special feelings to pony up for this. So if you have to move to a new apartment and the guy you've been seeing is down to "help if you need," y'all are essentially engaged (kidding, but he def really likes you).
16 of 28
He *encourages* couple selfies
As in: When you whip our your phone, front-facing camera already open in Instagram Stories, he pops in frame to cheese alongside you, rather than hiding behind you like a scared toddler. A dude who's into you doesn't care whether all your followers see, not just your "close friends."
17 of 28
He never says anything about "spending too much time together"
Here's something crazy: When someone likes you, they want to spend time with you. Yes, all people need some alone time. But a guy who gets weird when you ask to hang out more than once in a week probably doesn't like you, at least not in the way you like him. When he's into you, he doesn't count how often you're hanging out, and he certainly doesn't give you grief for it.
18 of 28
He puts at least a little care into what you do together
You're not just sitting on someone's couch, eating takeout and watching TV (although that's great too). He's trying to impress you by doing things like taking you to the park on a nice day or going for ice cream because ice cream is great and it's fun to eat with someone you like.
19 of 28
He calls what you're doing "dating" and not "hanging out"
Which leads to the next point. Two people who like each other and are hanging out with each other are going on dates. That's what a date is. And a guy who likes you will call it what it is, WHICH! IS! A! DATE!
20 of 28
He's not afraid to double-text
In the tenuous beginnings of any romance, texting twice in a row is terrifying for both parties. You don't wanna come off too strong! But also, you low-key want to stay in constant contact. If a guy's really into you, he ditches the self-consciousness about double-texting, and honestly, thank god. Text and flirt to your heart's content.
21 of 28
He's down to sleep over at your place
In the early stages of a relationship, sleeping in your own, comfy bed usually overrides crashing at their place—no matter how cozy your spoon situation is. When a guy starts asking if he can stay the night at your place—the whole night—it's a pretty good sign he more than a little bit likes you. He'd rather be cuddled up with you than in his own man nest.
22 of 28
He wants to run errands with you
One of the best things is when your dates are not so much dates anymore, but just the two of you doing your regular, everyday, human activities with each other. It's sweet and cute when he asks if you want to go grab groceries with him and a good sign he just loves the idea of being around you—no matter what the situation is.
23 of 28
He doesn't get weird about leaving a toothbrush at your place
Look, he's there half of every week anyway. The toothbrush is really quite rational. But for whatever reason, this is one of those tiny things guys get SO weird about. When he stops hiding the toothbrush away where your roommate can't see it, he's moving into "I really like this girl" territory.
24 of 28
He'll actually say the words "I miss you"
Ugggghhh, why is it so hard to admit you miss someone you like? Lol probably because admitting it would mean admitting you're ~into them~ and that's terrifying AF. Just like you're scared to actually say these words, so is he! A guy who really likes you, though, will just say it. Probably because he wants you to know he likes you, which he clearly does.
25 of 28
He wants you to meet his friends
Way before you get to the stage of meeting each other's parents, you have to go through meeting each other's friends. Honestly, it can feel just as serious. If a guy is bringing you around to his friend group and talking his friends up to you, it's a good sign he's really into you. This is his way of seeing how you fit into his life and his way of determining what you think of the people he cares most about.
26 of 28
He does ~subtle~ PDA
I'm not talking about, like, full on make-outs in public. I mean you notice that lately he has a habit of resting his hand on your shoulder or grabbing your hand first or placing his hand on the small of your back. Little touches, here and there, can be so sweet from someone you like. These tiny things are a good sign he's super into you.
27 of 28
He doesn't look at his phone when you're hanging out
First of all, it's just pretty rude in general to be on your phone the whole time you're with any person. But it's something we're all guilty of. If your guy manages to focus only on you the whole time you're together, though, it's a pretty good sign he really likes you. He'll address whatever's going on in his own manly group chat later—right now, he's with you.
28 of 28
He wants to show you things he really likes
Remember that iconic and romantic scene from The Office when Pam asks Jim if he has any new music and they listen to a song on his headphones together? Showing a person your favorite things is equal parts wanting to see if they're also into those things, and wanting to show them more of yourself. If he's sharing things that he likes with you, he definitely likes you. It's almost always as simple as that.
Hannah Smothers Hannah writes about health, sex, and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and you can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Rachel Varina Rachel is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators to the best TV shows to watch with your family.
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How to Tell if a Guy Actually Likes You or Is Just Trying to Sleep With You
Source: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2315/signs-he-likes-you/